The Negotiator

I don't quite remember this movie, but it had Kevin Spacey in it so it must have been good, right?  I love watching, learning, observing how Nathaniel's personality is forming.  It is hard to know now if things are a phase or if it is *him*.  I can tell the lines are getting blurred (not in the yucky Robin Thicke/Miley way) now that he is a whopping 3 years old.  The not so great things I tell myself are definitely a phase (tantrums, being particular, those kind of things) and the fun things (him putting weird stuff on his head and calling me in and laughing, cleaning up, etc.) are *him* haha... wishful thinking probably. 

One thing is for sure though... he is quite the negotiator.  Maybe he will be a lawyer or salesmen when he grows up.  It started out small.  I think I even mentioned it in a blog or two.  He used to ask for 'just a few more minutes' of iPad.  Or for you to stay laying with him 'just a few more minutes, ok mom'.  But, he has taken it up a notch for sure.  It is almost like chess.  He strategizes a few steps ahead of you now.  If you aren't paying attention 'WHAM' you've been had. He has pulled a fast one on both of us more then once ;)  

Couple pieces of evidence.  Just last night he had to go to the bathroom.  Dad was going to go with him.  Nate said, 'No, mom you come with me'.. I said, 'ok', but then quickly realized what had happened.  He didn't want me to start the movie. He had already told me this in so many words.  He knew if I went with him I couldn't start the movie.  

Another time we were doing something and he asks, 'Mom are the dogs ok?' I said,'I think so' he said 'I hear something, maybe you should go check'..... so I leave and quickly realize he did that to get me out of the room so he could do whatever he was doing a bit longer.... The dogs hadn't even moved off the couch....

He is always ready for some sort of reply or question too.  If we are headed somewhere he doesn't want to go... we will pull in the parking lot and he will say 'Is there any parking spaces mom'...as I'm driving around I say 'well it's pretty crowded' and Nate goes 'Guess we better go somewhere else.  Let's go (fill in the blank of wherever he really wants to go).  

Ok, so maybe these examples aren't so much negotiating as much as 'The Strategizer' I really like how he reorders our list of errands too.  I'll say 'We have to go to target, the grocery store and get gas'.  He will say 'Let's do this.  Let's go to the park first then target.  You can go to the grocery store tomorrow.  That's a good idea' Or he always says 'The store is closed we have to go tomorrow I guess' ... he has even used Kona's hurt foot to his advantage. When he didn't want to change out of PJs and wanted to stay home he said 'Kona (which is actually still kaka to him) is hurt today we better stay home'.... uh huh...

He does it with food too.  It is not uncommon for him to say 'I'll take 2 more bites and then I can get down, ok?'  Or 'If I eat my egg can I get a pickle'  

The kid hates wearing a jacket, BUT I will say 'We have to wear a jacket it is cold and he will stop whining and say 'Can I zip it half way, not the whole way'... just funny what goes through his head.

As I write this, I realize how I cant quite capture it. It doesn't quite illustrate how good at it he is.... it is so much a part of our daily lives you have to see it to believe it.  I know all kids negotiate so maybe Nate is no different, but I sure do feel like it is one of his better 'tricks in his bag'.  I'm always shocked when a few off beat questions lead to something I wasn't expecting and usually some sort of puzzle to get his way or avoid something.  I'll catch myself telling Kevin.... don't fall for it, he has an ulterior motive... 

Let's hope his skills don't get even better as he becomes a teenager.  He has only played us off each other a few times, but I'm ready for that too.  'Mom, dad said I could'... me 'Did he really?' ... probably not.  Little stinker.