There are all kinds of articles, book chapters and emails that explain baby milestones. Always, always always with the caveat 'Remember all babies develop at different rates, yada yada yada, blah blah, contact your Dr. if you are concerned' The online articles are always followed by people claiming their baby did this or that months earlier than the milestone has listed as an average (typical) age. You start to get nervous when you read the comments. You read things like ' My baby was walking at 5 months, eating finger foods by 6 months, rolling over at 1 month, talking by 3 months, changing their own diapers by 9 months, flying by 10 months, shouting the ABC's by 8 months. You get my point. It appears everyone's baby is an overachiever except yours. Then you sit back and realize that several of these people must be crazy. I think sometimes a baby lucks out and rolls by accident and doesn't do it again for months, but the parents mark that as the ability to roll over. I don't mean to sound negative, but come on. I'm sure there are lots of babies that beat a milestone here or there, but I have a hard time believing all of the 'fish stories' online. :)
Ok, back to my original thought. No where have I seen 'Parent Milestones' listed. These would be things you achieve as you go through the eye opening experience of taking care of a baby for the first time. For instance, the first time you realize (and I mean actually realize and come to terms with) that you will not get to all of the things you have on your to do list. You might have 10 super cute crafts you plan on creating for your little bundle of joy, but forget it you will only get to a few of those in any timely manner. Once you let the long to do list go your life feels a little more relaxed. Or another milestone might be the first time you get your baby to laugh (The milestone where you visibly bring joy to your baby) You know, the laugh that just melts your heart and you are the one making it happen. You continue to act ridiculous or whatever method you do just to hear it over and over. What about a milestone when you stop thinking about all of the theories and sleep secrets you have read about and just tune in to your kid and finally FINALLY just get it and get them. Well, get them as much as you can :) I'm sure we can all think of those few times (milestones) that just really changed you and how you approached the next day. When you get to these parental milestones it is like a door opens to lots of new things. Sometimes of course the new things bring even more questions, but you moved forward. You move forward gaining little nuggets of confidence. Now along with confidence are the milestones that are just pure joy and probably don't teach you a thing, but it is something you have been waiting to happen. This is the milestone that just happened in the Hahm household.
Nathaniel gave me a Kiss last Monday. Oh I think every parent just cannot wait for this. The kiss isn't much of a kiss. It is more like a slobbery open mouth fish lick, but I'll take it. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even really understand the significance of a kiss or what emotion it evokes. But, for me anyway, it is one of the first times as a parent you feel like he is loving you back visibly. I can not get enough of these. He doesn't always do it on command and if there is any other distraction forget it, but it is just too cool. Right after naps is his most kissy time. I was feeling pretty good about this parental milestone until I saw him giving these same slobbery kisses to the stairway rail, the wall and his crib. Owell, maybe he just loves all of those things too!
I do think as a new parent there are things that just click or happen at certain times that are worthy of being called a milestone. I can't wait to experience more of these. You just know them when they happen. The day just feels different.
Nathaniel is sleeping now and I can't wait to go ask for a, 'kiss kiss' ....
1 comment:
What a great post!! I couldn't agree more. These are the real milestones. It's so wonderful when they can hug and kiss you....can't think of many things in the world that can top that! Wait until he can run to the door when Kevin comes home and give him huge hugs and kisses. Just melts your heart!
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