No Santa Tracker Here

Nathaniel is a little too young to understand Christmas this year, but maybe next year. That doesn't mean we didn't have him in several holiday themed outfits throughout the month. Onesies with penguins and reindeer are just too cute to pass up. We read Twas the night before Christmas and Santa Claus is coming to town tonight to him before bed. Yep, he basically talked through both stories (cute as always) We will read polar Express tomorrow :) He was a very good boy in church tonight. There was a time or two I thought he might start talking when the pastor was talking... that might have been a little funny - he didn't though.

I hope to blog a bit more soon (at least every other day) I am getting a new computer battery, YAY. My battery dies so quick now so it makes it hard to have Nathaniel and blog. Anyway, look for more blogging after the new year Woo Hoo.

Here is a pic or two from tonight. I need to get back to my egg nog and A Christmas Story.  Merry Christmas Eve to everyone.

Story Time

Every night before bed Kevin or I (mostly Kevin so he can have daddy time) read a story or two or three to Nathaniel. We are reading Christmas stories to him this month. There are a few in the book that I have never heard of, but most of the stories are good ol' classics. When Kevin is reading to Nate I am usually sitting in the family room. The family room is close enough to the master bedroom that I can sort of hear what is going on during story time. It is the cutest thing. I can hear Kevin reading the first story ... then I can hear him start the second story. It is about this time that Nathaniel starts talking. He talks so much during the story. It is so cute. So basically I can hear Kevin reading the story, but also talking back to Nate. Apparently, the little dude has A LOT to say at the end of the day. I always think he is going to be too hyper to go to bed after all of the talking, but (knock on wood) he usually goes to sleep. I just love hearing the baby babble during story time with dad.

The other day I had a *Nate Note* about how he sleeps - I managed to get a picture today.  I didn't realize how loud the camera was until I took the picture.  He sort of made a monkey noise, but fell back to sleep THANKFULLY.

Tummy Time = Bummer Time

We have not even come close to giving Nathaniel the recommended amount of tummy time. We are slackers when it comes to this... You are suppose to do it a lot and from the moment you get home from hospital. The poor little guy will never develop his neck muscles and motor skills if we have anything to do with it.

I have been so bad about it because he looks so miserable doing tummy time. He just lays there on his face and cries :( I position his arms and stuff to help him, but he is still so sad. Plus, he almost always spits up when he is on his stomach. So then he is crying laying in his own spit up. This is not a pretty scene. I'd rather have him on his back smiling at me. I have tried various time frames after eating to see if it would help with the spit up, but so far he still does it no matter what. It is like a mine field of wet spots by the time we are done with tummy time.

I bought a tummy time exercise mat to help, but he isn't liking that much more. It is a little cloth surf board with a chest pillow to help him build up his arms (baby push ups) and neck muscles. Hopefully after a couple more times he will like it more.

As he is getting older we are stepping up our efforts - even though it is a big **bummer** of a time for everyone. I'm sure we didn't help ourselves by not getting him used to it early on - wish us (and Baby Nate) some big time, tummy time luck!

Holiday Hoopla

An action *sleepy* shot from our Christmas photo shoot

Well, its official, it is nearly impossible for me to get done what I want for the holidays.  Granted I love the holidays and maybe got a little too ambitious in my head.  What sounds great and what is doable are two very different things with a 2 month old in the house.  Cards, stuff for Nate for his FIRST Christmas, baking, shopping, watching cheesy holiday movies, decorating, crafts.... it is hard to squeeze that into 15 minutes of free time a day LOL.  So far I've watched 2 cheesy holiday movies and sort of shopped.  

My shopping can best be described as quick little whirlwinds.  Once Nathaniel goes down for the night at around 7 or 8 I run out super quick to a store or two.  The problem with late night shopping is that by this time I'm actually starting to get tired and lazy so I fade out REAL quick. (I know this doesn't sound like me because normally late night is when I'm at my best - my night owl ways have been considerably changed since Baby Nate)  Kevin and I did run to a few places this weekend and Nate actually didn't mind, he was pretty content.  If I'm being completely honest some of our shopping goes like this now...  If it is a <10 min shopping task and I just have to run in, grab something and go, Kevin drops me off and circles with Nate so that he stays sleeping or at least not crying.  I then text and get picked back up.  There is no lolly gagging in this method.  Truth be told this may be some of Kevin's favorite holiday shopping since he doesn't actually have to shop.  I'm sure he prefers driving around to shopping in crowds ;)

You might think I'd be taking full advantage of internet shopping then - That seems logical and smart, right?  I have had 3 different *good deals* in my carts at various stores that have gone away.  I missed out because once I got around to getting my credit card it was too late.  Something will come up (maybe Nate is hungry, etc.) so I leave the computer come back and my deals are gone.  

I'll be the first one to tell you my time management is hovering around a C+.  Although I'm getting a lot better.  I am certainly learning my way around Nate and it is becoming easier to time showers and eating etc since I can read his moods better.  We have had better outings too since I kind of know whether he is going to cry the whole time or maybe be ok.  A lot is dependent on if there are raspberry sounds and if he gets heavy eyed on my drive around the neighborhood before headed towards stores.  He still does NOT like to be stopped at any point in the car (I don't know if I mentioned this yet).  If we are at a red light the waterworks start, then they stop as you drive again.  This makes shopping in the crowded area of Cool Springs where I live very hard during the holidays.  He has to be asleep or on the verge to make it through all of the lights and traffic delays because of the crowds.  Too many stops and we are pretty much headed home because the crying just escalates.  Nate is a big fan of constant motion.

The baking is a challenge because if Nate does get up or gets cranky in the middle of a recipe I can't just leave the baking stuff sitting around. Hooligan Mocha would eat everything and it would be a disaster :)  He is lucky he is a cuddly dude.  Actually I think dogs and babies are so super cute just so you forget anything bad that they do.  If Nate smiles I forget all the crying from the previous hour.  Just like if Mocha lays his head on my lap and snuggles I forget he just ran off with my shoe.  That is their genetic trick... or I'm just a sucker.  Probably the latter.

Nate Note:  One thing Nate has been obsessed with since he could see them is ceiling fans.  He started staring at them almost right when he got home from the hospital.  I remember he looked at them when my sister was here, which was when he was still only a week or two old.  The fan isn't on or anything either.  I think it is the contrast of the roof and fan blades.  He likes the big star shape.  If you are holding him and turn away from the fan he will strain to try and see it again.  We thought maybe it was just the fan in our room, but he is equally excited about the one in the family room.  He will even giggle to himself when he looks at it, I'm not sure what is so exciting to him, but he cracks himself up.  I made a few flashcards with shapes and happy faces for him and I added a shape similar to the fan and he likes that too.  Although the yellow happy face is what he most enjoys from the flash cards (I just used sticky back foam sheets and cardstock and created the flashcards)   

Kona a.k.a. Houdini

It has been awhile since I updated everyone on the status of how the dogs are doing around Nathaniel. The dogs are doing GREAT. As a matter of fact we are all getting used to sleeping in the same room again. 4 of us in the bed and little Nathaniel in his pack n play. For awhile I had Nathaniel sleeping in a little bassinet on the bed. It was easier for me with the c section stuff and he liked the vibration and the hammocky feeling so he slept better. Also, I couldn't chance the dogs jumping or sleeping on my belly after the surgery so it was just easier if the dogs slept somewhere else. To keep the dogs from whining too much Kevin slept with them in another room. Sleeping with us has been their routine for years and years so I expected them to whine since they are creatures of habit. Kevin was getting more sleep this way anyway for work since I was getting up several times for Nate.

Well, Nate is now sleeping only in his pack n play and I feel almost healed so our sleep routine is back to normal. Granted I shoosh the dogs a bit more than I used to when Nate is sleeping. They really could care less when I get up to take care of him. I'm not sure they even really wake up anymore. I can even feed Nate right next to them and they don't even move they just sleep.

This isn't to say Mocha doesn't like to super sniff Nate on occasion (especially when he poops) and I have to constantly dog proof the room. Mocha finds every abandoned binky or burp rag or sock. Kona mostly just likes to lick Nate's feet and be near us. Overall, our little family is blending nicely.

There is one thing Kona has learned that I think is quite smart. Weimaraners are known for their escape skills. Usually if you enclose a weimaraner it will find a way out or at least try very very hard to get out. Well, in a past post I mentioned we have a baby gate in the doorway of the master bedroom. This comes in handy when Nate is napping or I just want to keep the dogs out during the day for some reason. I tend not to latch the gate since you have to press down etc to get out and it is just easier to swing the door especially if I'm holding Nate. The door swings out from the room so usually when the dogs try to get in they end up latching the door so no worries, right? Well, my Houdini Kona has figured out how to open the door if it isn't latched. She nudges it slightly with her nose and gets it to open a little (remember the door opens out so this is pretty smart for her) then she nudges it some more and gets her head in there. She then bumps it open with her head and slithers in. The first time she did this I wasn't even paying attention, but all of a sudden I was like 'WHAT, how are you in here' then I watched the next time. She is sneaky. She only comes in if I'm in there. It is so funny. She just wants to be by us.

See how Mocha (yep Mocha is there he is a lil hard to see) and Kona just sleep. 
Nate is playing on his jungle mat and they could care less.

**I thought I would start something called 'Nate Note's' - this will be little memories or notes (Natisms) that I don't want to forget. **

Nate Note: We can tell he is really sleeping if he assumes a certain position. He lays with his head facing left, his arms stretched out on both sides of his head and his legs bent at the knees, but flat against the bed. If you touch your hands to your head and touch the bottoms of your feet together that is pretty much the position. He pretty much sleeps like this all night no matter when you check on him. BUT, only if he is in a deep sleep, which is still very rare during the day.

Going Bald

Am I going bald? (knock on wood). Seriously, I'm losing hair like I am growing a winter coat like Kona and Mocha. I was expecting to lose hair since everyone talks about it and it is written about everywhere, but boy it is a little scary. If this keeps up I'll have to have a comb over in the front to cover the holes. I know in my mind that I'm just losing the hair that didn't fall out due to a change in hormones during pregnancy. Logic and fact states that this hair is supposedly the hair that would have fallen out had I not been pregnant. I guess my head just kept it longer and now that I'm not pregnant it falls out. But, as I look at what falls out I am pretty sure the math doesn't add up on that theory. I'm not joking about the comb over ;)

On a side note I am wondering to myself 'why do pregnant women need extra hair'?  Why is hair retention one of the things triggered by pregnancy?'  I know vitamins etc. contribute, but it is a little strange. It isn't like you need to keep your head warmer or something for the babies health.. anyway .. 

I guess I better get used to all good things must come to an end. The nice pregnancy side effects anyway. It isn't just the hair, my glowing skin isn't as glowing either. I did enjoy a nicer complexion with Baby Nate growing inside of me. I'm assuming I won't be able to smell as good here soon too. I like having a super sniffer (Kevin not so much - he is probably ready for me not to be able to smell from across the room what kind of beer and appetizer he had after work). I'll probably have to stop wearing sweatpants here soon too because now I am just starting to look lazy, the c section excuse is wearing thin - haha

I'm not sure if Baby Nate is going to like to hang out with a bald and pimply mom who can't smell and wears the same sweat outfit every other day (j/k it is probably every third day) ...hhhmmm ;)

Nate is all ready to go Christmas shopping.  He is all decked out in the Reindeer outfit my mom gave him. 
Look at the reindeer feet

2 Month Appt - :( SHOTS

Nathaniel seems to be healthy so that is always nice to hear at these appointments. Here are his stats since he started having appts.
 

9/30 - He was born and was 21 inches tall and 8 lbs 7 oz
10/11 - He was 11 days old and was 21 inches tall and 8 lbs 9 oz
10/24 - He was 3 and 3/7 wks old and was 21 3/4 inches tall and 9 lbs 9 oz
12/1 - He is 2 months old and 24 inches tall and 11 lbs 10 oz

The one thing that is still a little off is his sleep. Dr. Townsend would like us to try and make sure he gets a bit more sleep during the day and also make sure he sleeps after the evening (6 or 7 pm) feeding (even if we have to let him cry a little longer than normal). He does seem to sleep after the next feeding, which is usually around 9 or 10pm ish, but all the feedings earlier than this it is a bit of a struggle to get him to sleep. I still think he just takes after me and doesn't require much sleep; although I wish he'd cry less if that was the case ;)

He did get his shots - ALL FOUR of them :( Yes, I was teary eyed. His face turned so red it looked like Christmas. His thighs look like little baby pin cushions. The silver lining of seeing him in so much pain is now I know what that cry looks like if something is wrong with him. Having 3 shots and one oral seems like a lot of medical stuff to have put in his tiny little body all at once. I didn't do a ton of research on the shots because I knew if I read all of the pro and cons for vaccines I'd confuse myself. I am definitely pro vaccines for the most part, but I'm not always sure if we are overdoing it. Reading all of the side effects etc. is daunting and scary. I know that Kevin and I both had vaccines and didn't have adverse reactions so I am hoping he isn't allergic to anything as well. Granted vaccines have gotten quite a bit more pure since our day (which is a great thing). I'm not even sure if we got the same vaccines. As always I lean towards the side of medical science and think the positive technological advances substantially outweigh the negatives. However, I do keep a skeptical eye and sometimes follow the theory of, 'leave nature alone and let it do it's thing'. Regardless, it was hard to watch my cute little guy be so red! I guess this is one of the first times my heart was aching for my child - that parental **hurt** you feel when you are connected to something you love so much.

Anyway, here is a quick video to make you smile and a pic of Kona standing watch over Nate. I am pretty sure Kona is already claiming Nate as her own little guy to protect in the family.

Regular Day and Socks

Thanksgiving is over so Kevin is back at work. Plus, my mom left.  I was getting used to her being around during the day when Kevin was working.   So today felt like a boring Monday. The dogs are complaining too, not only has it rained all day so they are bored, but my mom showers them with love and they are feeling *lonely*.  Also, who am I suppose to take with me on super quick trips to stores? Who is going to rock, walk and talk to Nate when I do a few things around the house? Needless to say I am missing the company of my mom; I wish she lived closer. It had been awhile since she had been around a baby, but I think all of the baby skills came back quickly. I'm sure she misses seeing that baby face everyday :(
 

One thing I thought was really funny is that Kevin's mom always thought Nate looked cold and so did my mom... I have decided that maybe this was a grandma thing haha!! My mom would say ..'maybe he needs a blanket on his legs' once I put a blanket on she would say, 'see he looks a lot more comfy'.

This brings me to a somewhat clunky transition to the topic of socks. Yes, it is a transition since socks keep you warm, right? Anyway, while Nathaniel still runs hot (like his mom) his feet do get cold at night.  Because of this we try and put socks on more (unless of course he fell asleep without them because we don't chance waking him up). Side Note: This kid still doesn't get enough sleep during the day (~ 16 hrs is what he is suppose to get and he usually gets several hours less)  Ok back to socks. Nathaniel kicks a lot. It doesn't matter if they are excited happy kicks or grumpy kicks of fury. He always looks like he is marching or headed somewhere. This constant kicking movement really tests whether or not a pair of socks is on for good or just for looks. We do find a sock here or there and luckily Mocha hasn't eaten one of them.... lucky lucky.  Not all socks are created equal and a lot don't pass the kick test for sure.  So far the best ones I have bought have been the Target brand ones.  These ones are pretty basic, but they stay on longer. 

Now I do have a beef with the variety of socks offered. There is only like 3 colors offered in boy socks. Even at target there is a whole end aisle of socks and they are 85% girl colors. I can get grey, white or red.. (and I'm pretty sure the white and red were for girls too) I don't even think there was a blue. But, every other sock or sock pack is blue socks. Some green would be nice or tan perhaps. Maybe it is the girl in me, but he looks cute if his socks sort of match his adorable onesies ;) Side Note: It is hard to cover those super cute baby feet - baby feet are the best, they are so so small.

Nathaniel's 2 month appt is Thurs - the dreaded ** shots ** :(

Grandma Johnson and Nathaniel

Nathaniel stares at Kevin endlessly when he holds him in this position
Nate loves it (and so does Kevin)

He looks so small in his swing

Blogless in Nashville

There is a lot going on in the Hahm household this week so I haven't been able to blog. My mom is visiting from AZ so during my 'Nate free' time (which can be quite limited during the day) we sit and chat or go do something so I don't get any blogging done.  


It is my mom's first grandchild and she is spoiling him with love as expected :) Apparently, she thinks she has the right to refuse changing dirty diapers and the right to hand him over once he is done being playful and cute ;) haha. It has been fun to have her around and enjoying Baby Nate. She really laughs at how different all of the toys and baby stuff have changed. Everything makes music or vibrates, there is a pee indicator on the diaper etc. - I guess us parents nowadays are really spoiled with conveniences. 

We have been trying to take Nate out to a few places. This helps me get used to doing things with him while I have some help. We headed to the mall and it was my first time dealing with the stroller alone. We got it open and the car seat in great. It started out fine, but then Nate decided he didn't want to be at the mall long so after a few short errands he started crying. The cashiers at Williams and Sonoma looked over and said, 'Oh he must be a little one. His cry sounds new'.. he decided to start the raspberries so I knew our time was up. I forgot how to close the stroller so I ended up having to put the seat down in the car and put the whole thing in the back... goofy goofy (I can hear my friend Karen just laughing at me as she pictures this). Now I know what to do for sure so this won't happen again!! We went to Costco the next day. Nathaniel liked it there and didn't cry, maybe he is hoping to get a taste of the big pumpkin pie we bought. At least I'm bumbling around as a new mom with my mom, there is something poetic about that memory.

As always, time flies and I can't believe my mom leaves in 2 days. She better get her fill of Nate cheek squeezing and smiling in before she leaves. At least when she hums or sings to Nate she actually knows the words to the nursery rhymes - Kevin and I sure don't.

I can hear some Nathaniel ** monkey noises ** from the other room so I think nap time is over. He does on occasion actually sleep.... on occasion being the key words there.

More blogging to come soon

Here is our first family picture

ALL OF US

Kevin's dad noticed we were all together and snapped a picture - glad he did - I love it!

Nate Videos

Not the best videos, better ones to come that capture more of his cuteness.  But, at least you can kind of see him being him. This was just real quick with my iPhone.

Diaper Dance...

I can't believe how many diapers you go through in a day. I mean I knew you use a lot but WOW. By the end of the day the dirty diapers amount to three times the size of him, is that possible? I imagine all the people doing the same thing I am and no wonder our landfills are full. I see why people look for alternatives that are more environmentally friendly. Granted with cloth diapers I have heard people use so much water and stain remover and bleach etc. that you wonder if all that is just as bad as the regular diapers. I haven't had time to look into the matter, thus I don't have an educated opinion.  At least it does appear there is far less plastic on the diapers nowadays compared to the past. That is a step in the right direction.

Anyway, that isn't even what I wanted to blog about. I wanted to blog about how challenging it is to change a diaper on a squiggly, jiggley, wiggly moving target. Nathaniel isn't sluggish that is for sure. That boy moves constantly especially when you are changing his diaper. He gets those legs going up and down, up and down, kick, kick. This isn't some slow kick either, it is like he is getting ready to run a sprint. The arms move with the same vigor as the legs. You can just picture me (a new totally uncoordinated mom) trying to change a diaper on this wiggly guy. You have to get the onesie pulled up and then hold those squiggly legs long enough to wipe. And while you are holding legs and wiping you are also watching for the inevitable pee stream to head your way. You then quick stick that diaper under him hoping you got it up far enough before he jiggles out of it. 

You then play a game of side to side as you try to latch the diaper together. You find a rhythm with his kicking so that you can actually latch the diaper. A quick tab stick on the left, then the right, then the left, then the right....This goes on and on until it looks secure. When you are done with this tiny test of patience he of course settles down and just looks at you like, 'Why did that take you so long' Of course five minutes later the diaper *wet* indicator is blue again and the ~~ diaper dance ~~ starts all over again. BTW, Kevin is real good at the diaper dance, way better than me. 

How many years of diapers are there?? I'll tell you what, picking up the doggie doo in the backyard is easier (possibly smellier although that is still up for debate)- HaHa.

It's Over...

I guess my pregnancy is officially over. I had my 6 week postpartum check up today. This is the appointment where they make sure everything went back to where it is suppose to go, plus make sure my c section stuff was healing properly. Everything checked out fine - YaY - so I'm officially not an OB patient any more. As usual, I left the appt with unanswered questions that I thought about once the doctor was out of the room. Owell I guess, some things never change.

As I left the doctor's office it felt so anti-climatic. Was all of this pregnancy stuff really over? It seems like there should be some glorious celebration or something. A celebration of making it through pregnancy and labor and the start of raising that little nugget. When I exited the doctor's office I imagined a ticker tape parade serenading me to my car. The paraders would have signs that said "You made it through the right side pain" "You survived being awake during a surgery" "You don't have to pee a million times a day anymore" etc etc. My celebration consisted of a quick stop at Publix to pick up a few groceries... I didn't even buy some good ice cream or anything ...

It all seems like a blur sometimes. It is almost a distant memory when I headed to this same office right after taking that pregnancy test, WWAAYYY back in January. I was frantic because I was headed to AZ the next day and I had no clue what to do as a pregnant person. I watched my belly grow and my feet disappear. I marveled at all of Baby Hahm's movement in my belly and those unforgettable ultrasounds. I can't believe that little buggar grew to be 8lb 7oz. Those 4 days in the hospital where surreal - partially because of the painkillers ;) and partially because I couldn't believe I had this perfect little person to love.

I continued to think about stuff like that as I sat in the 2nd waiting room amongst all of the pregnant people today. I was waiting to be called back and I just sat there and reflected on everything. The best way to sum up something so wonderfully complicated is to say, 'What a ride!' and I'm glad I finally took it. Now I just have to figure out how to raise Baby Nate - YIKES!!

Ready - Set - Go

Get Ready, Get Set, GGGOOOO...This is what we say now before we eat. It is like we are practicing for one of those competitive Hot Dog eating contests (minus the hot dogs). We just open our mouths and push the food down our throat ...nice visual huh?   

I was lucky enough to not have chronic indigestion or heartburn during pregnancy, but now I may have self inflicted indigestion and heartburn. What happens is when I think Nathaniel is sleepy and/or actually sleeping in my arms, I lay him down, observe for about 5 min. to make sure the *sleepies* took and then I rush off to eat. He doesn't exactly like to sleep so if the *sleepies* didn't take I have about 10 minutes before he realizes what happened to him. Once he realizes that he isn't being carried around and rocked like the King of England he pouts and starts crying and demands to be held again. Ok, ok we don't spoil him that much (or do we) and he does actually calm himself sometimes, but sadly the little dude doesn't cry himself to sleep very well. I can tell now when he will calm down or just get worse... THE RASPBERRIES. If there are raspberries he isn't going to stop crying, if it is other noises he'll usually whimper himself to sleep.

 

 

Anyway, back to the hot dog eating contest... In those 10 minutes I power down a bowl of cereal or something that is easy and quick. Those of you that know me know I'm not exactly the worlds fastest eater so this new speed in which I eat is quite the change. I wait for him to be in a deep sleep before I attempt a decent lunch for sure.
 

Kevin and I have now mentally adjusted and know that the days of leisurely meals are gone, for awhile anyways. At night when Nathaniel is entering fussy period #2 Kevin and I eat one by one switching off who eats the colder meal. This was a better solution than both of us blundering around not eating until 10 when he sleeps (don't laugh that happened a few times where we realized we hadn't eaten and it was SUPER late).

I actually teased Kevin the other day when he headed to grab a tv tray and get all set up like the old days... I was like, 'How long do you think you have to eat'... of course I was just calculating how cold my meal would be if he wasted ANY time. There is an occasional meal here or there that we actually do get to eat together, but this is definitely random and usually happens if we eat an early bird special before the fussy period. The problem with the early bird special is when you eat at 5pm and it is dark outside suddenly you are putting your pjs on at 6:30 and calling it a night HAHA. You are thinking to yourself it must be 10pm, but it isn't and you realize the dogs haven't even eaten yet - it is that early!

The normal 'old' everyday has changed... for the better of course, I mean how many people can write competitive speed eater on their resume ;)

Huh? Duh? What?

When I was still pregnant I blogged about 'pregnancy brain' or what I like to call 'Momnesia'. This was where pregnant ladies put their keys in the freezer or leave the house and forget where they are going, etc. etc. I never really experienced any momnesia. I had some difficult nights sleeping and I was exhausted here or there, but overall I can't say I did any seemingly scatter brained things.

Well, that has all changed! Wait, what was I talking about.... hhhhmmm???? Oh yeah how newborn + nursing brain is like a double dose of scatter brain. I find myself searching for words all the time. I forget the silliest easiest things. For example, I was talking to a friend the other night and I could not remember what our house was selling as when we bought it.... not a foreclosure, not a normal sale, but a SHORT SALE... duh... it took me like 30 seconds to remember short sale. That isn't even a hard concept. I guess almost 6 weeks of sleeping no more than 1-3 hour chunks takes its toll on the mind. Plus, I'm pretty sure Nathaniel sucks up all my nutrients so my brain isn't being fed ;)

What is equally tragic is that Kevin is going on a lot less sleep and energy too so when we are out together it is like the dumb leading the dumb. The both of us together lately equal one working brain. This isn't to say Kevin isn't still excelling at the office, I just figure he uses all the good brain cells he has at work and all of the tired brain cells at home. Granted it doesn't take a genius to walk Baby Nathaniel in circles around the house until he falls asleep, it only takes Super DaD energy cells. I guess it is only fair to say that when Kevin gets home I've used up all my Super MoM energy cells during the day and Kevin is left with the sluggish MoM cells when he has to deal with me at night.

I might go recite the elementary school multiplication tables now just to revive the grey matter that is becoming jello. It is a good thing I only have to say the simplest of words (sometimes just sounds even) to Nathaniel to help him thrive. Maybe he won't notice his mom is truly living up to the nickname *Spacey Stacy*

I just got distracted by a bright light.... just kidding, but not to far off from my current IQ status.

I tried to get a snapshot of the smile

Nathaniel in his crib - he loves looking at the mobile.  He doesn't sleep there yet though.

Kona basking in the sun

Mocha also basking in the sun, but the sun moved

3 Steps forward 1 Step Back (beware this is a blogplain)

The beauty about this phrase, '3 Steps forward 1 Step Back' is that at least there is progress, right? Right! It is this forward progress that keeps me sane. Why I bring this up is because I will think things are going well (as well as expected for a 5 week old, new parents and recovering mom), but then I'll have a bad day, or two in this case, and it really sets me back. 

Overall, my c section recovery is indeed feeling tons better. I won't be running any marathons or really even doing anything super effort driven, but I am feeling much more like myself. Granted sweats are still my pant of choice since that tender c section area is still TENDER. I haven't dared drink a carbonated drink yet either since my digestive system is still acting weird from the surgery. This has been a part of the recovery that has seemed the slowest - just getting those traumatized systems back up and running smoothly. Some of the worst pain of recovery was that first week and trying to use the bathroom - YOWZA! Those of you that have been through it know what I'm talking about - Double YOWZA :) So the last two yucky days weren't about c sec recovery since while it sometimes feels a little slow, I think that is going ok.

So if it wasn't c section recovery... what was it...On Monday the whole breastfeeding thing took a PAINFUL turn. Up until this point it has been going alright for someone that is clueless about breastfeeding. My goal was to breastfeed for at least the first two weeks since that is the scientifically proven 'Golden' period of breastfeeding. This golden period means you get the baby through its most vulnerable period with your antibodies that come from your milk. Anyway, since that was going alright I decided to set my new goal to 6 weeks since I had already put some effort into it for the first 2 weeks. This past Monday has me thinking I might throw in the towel on breastfeeding though. It was so painful to feed him I was crying. I was googling and reading my books about what possibly could be wrong. I called around and there was a whole lot of doctors telling me to call other doctors with no real answers.... urgh... After being quite frustrated I called a lactation consultant finally. She was helpful but didn't really give me any *new* information. I really started wondering if the benefits of breastfeeding at this stage outweigh the challenges (at least in my case). Assuming you have a healthy baby the long term effects of breastmilk versus formula start to be somewhat negligible. Breastmilk will always be superior (it is nature's creation) but not by much. In the back of my mind I am always thinking.." Happy Mom means Happy Baby " and so if the stress of breastfeeding takes to much of a toll it probably isn't helping baby. (stressors include... possible yeast infections, dietary requirements that could be affecting baby, scheduling commitment, etc.) That being said, by Tuesday I felt a bit better by trying some home remedies, but I am still heavily considering trying to wean. Part of me is ready to have my body back and pain free... I know a little selfish :(

When I say pain free it is because following that horrible Monday I woke up on Tuesday with the worst headache. I took stuff for it and it wouldn't go away. It was there all day even after i slept for 2 hours once Kevin got home. My patience level for pain and being uncomfortable was reaching its limit.

Now it is Wed. Nathaniel is sleeping and I can blogplain (haha I can complain and get things off my chest by blogging them - blogplain). The silver lining to all of this is that Nathaniel is doing well and I love being around him all day :) He is even smiling and getting excited at certain points during the day now. It is so cute. My headache did go away when he was cute and looking at me smiling. He is becoming so much more aware of his surroundings. His most happy time of day is right before Kevin leaves for work so Kevin gets to take in all of the cuteness right before he leaves. Unfortunately, since the happy periods are somewhat short as compared to the fussy periods it never fails that when Kevin leaves Nathaniel runs out of *happy* time, but he gets more *happy* times throughout the day. What is funny is when you change his diaper that is when he sometimes smiles the most. Sometimes I think the smiling is a distraction so that he can then pee on everything without you being prepared with a new diaper- little boys little boys :)

Side Note: I put Nathaniel in his car seat and lifted it into the car all by myself today. This is huge because I haven't really been able to lift much until now. Granted I couldn't carry that much weight for very long without my stomach muscles feeling pinched, but it is a start. We went through the sbux drive thru and then on a fall leaf peeping drive. He was a little fussy and the car ride put him to sleep so I drove around a bit. Here is the catch though. if he isn't asleep he cries every time (I mean EVERY time) you stop the car. This makes red lights and long lines at a drive thru my enemy. I've said it before, but I'll say it again... Nathaniel is quite the DIVO.

Well, I just hope the rest of my week goes better. It was nice to have a friend come over Monday night - I was a little flakey due to a long day, but regardless just having her visit made me feel better.

LLLL...Little Loads of Laundry

You never realize how much spit up there will be until you have a baby that spits up. I have visited friends in the past and there is a drool or spit up here or there and it seems like so little and really not a big deal. Well, I'm here to tell you that once you are the receiver of all the spit up suddenly you realize how it accumulates on stuff throughout the day. When I go to feed I hate using a burp cloth or rag that has already been spit up on... it just feels cold and gooey. Sometimes I even wet them a little to wipe off Nathaniel's face or clothes if he gets a little spit up on himself so then they are cold, gooey and wet. I find myself grabbing new little rags all day. I don't have an endless supply so laundry adds up quickly. It is these tiny little loads getting done all the time. I had no idea the importance of little burp rags. They play a major part in my everyday. While I'm at it, receiving blankets deserve a shout out too... I use those little blankets everywhere on everything.

The little loads of laundry basically consist of tiny blankets and tiny rags..... tiny socks, tiny mittens, tiny outfits (although he has long since grown out of anything newborn size). Kevin and I are quickly learning that our shoulders will have spit up on them occasionally - no matter how hard we try to get that little rag under him when we burp him it just moves sometimes. I always think to myself how it must stink to spit up and then just have your face buried in spit up because you are just a tiny person with no other options but to just deal with it until your parents move you and wipe you off :) We are also learning that he gets either out of control cranky right before a spit up (stomach upset I guess) or a huge smile and then spits up.... you will be admiring his super cute little grimace and then suddenly it isn't so cute, but flying liquid all over the new outfit you just put on him. Putting on those tiny outfits is quite the challenge too when the lil' guy is so squiggly (I should have played with more dolls!!)

Oh and another thing, no one ever told me how much the spit up ends up in those tiny baby neck folds that are nearly impossible to clean. It is like he knows I want to wipe his neck and so he moves in every way possible so I can't get into those folds. He doesn't have much control of his head yet, but somehow can manage to keep all those folds nestled tight. It is so hard! - and it isn't like you are going to yank his head around to get to those folds.

Anyway...Yep, you guessed it the dryer signal just went off and I need to go fold the little load of laundry.

Firsts

I am still having good and bad days. However, bad is more like I just get sore and run down by the end of the day, which is a huge improvement. I am still not even close to 100% but I'm making strides. That being said, I have a few more activities under my belt that I haven't done since before I gave birth. Nathaniel had a few too.

*- I drove for the first time YAY! I felt like a real person. Kevin's mom babysat Nathaniel and I ran a few errands. It was nice just to go somewhere, a little reprieve from my cabin fever.

*- We all went to the mall. I had not been to the mall in ages. We went to buy that cute little outfit for Nathaniel's baptism. Walking around a few stores with a baby stroller was sure a new experience. It was the first time we had used the stroller. Once we got to the mall we realized we forgot the stroller and and Kevin and his dad ran back home to grab it (yep, a fine example of us being new parents). Then we spent a bit of time figuring out how the car seat fit into the stroller. We of course did this when we first got the stroller but had forgotten over the last few months. He seemed to really like being rolled around - he didn't peep once unless you stopped for too long. I still walk real slow so people were passing me in the mall, but so be it. Once again I felt like a real person out and about.

*- I wore a pair of jeans instead of sweatpants for the first time. Most pants rub right where the c section scar is so I have pretty much worn comfy sweats (plus I don't go anywhere so sweats seem fine). I figured I was headed to the mall maybe I should try a pair of real pants. I jerry rigged the jeans so that they didn't fit tight around the scar area very similar to what I did while I was pregnant. A long shirt and a pad over the scar worked great. A real outfit!

*- As mentioned above - Nathaniel was babysat for the first time.

*- I drank a sip of beer, which I hadn't done since January. Just a sip though, I'll have to blog when I actually drink a whole beer.

*- I have been up and down the stairs now. I still don't overdue the stairs, but I can go up them without much effort or pain.

*- Kevin bottle fed little Nathaniel. It was the first time since the first night we brought him home that he had used a bottle. The doctor said to introduce the bottle 1-2 times a week so that he will accept it down the road.

*- Nathaniel wore a size 1 diaper for the first time. They are a touch big, but seem to hold the yuckies in :) the newborn diapers seemed so tight around his legs.

I'm sure there are more.. but these were a few from the last few days.

We got these socks from Kevin's Aunt Mary Lynne - they really look like converse shoes and not socks... pretty cool

Sleepy relaxed Nate

Baptism

I'd like to write more, but Nathaniel is a demanding lil' guy :) I wanted to at least post a few pics.

On Sunday Nathaniel was baptized by Pastor Gensmer at Christ Our Savior Lutheran Church. Nathaniel was pretty quiet during the baptism until the water was poured on his head. It was great that Kevin's parents could be there with us for the baptism and they also gave him his first baby bible story book. They also gave us a great picture frame with Psalm 127 3 on it.

He wasn't quite up for taking pictures, but I had to show off his handsome outfit he wore for his baptism

Although Nathaniel is too young to eat candy he celebrated his first Halloween. My mom bought him this super cute Owl sleep sack. He squirmed and squiggled, but we got at least one picture! Isn't he cute?

This is just a random pic - I figure he is voguing!

This baby quilt was made by Kevin's Aunt Sue for Nate- it has a lot of different dog patterns - it is so so cute!!

He slept like this forever - it looked comfy

The Big 'B' and SSSHHHHHH

Nathaniel is getting baptized this Sunday. Kevin's parents are coming in to town to be here for the baptism and of course to meet Nathaniel. Kevin's family (including Kevin) have been members of the WELS Lutheran Church for a very very long time and have several family members that serve as clergy in the organization. The baptism ceremony is a little bit different than what I'm used to having grown up around a mostly Catholic extended family. It isn't quite as formal and ceremonial as the Catholics, but obviously the general purpose is the same. The Lutheran baptisms usually take place at the beginning of the church services in front of the congregation. I'm not sure if there will be a picture or not, but there will be at least one of us afterwards so I'll try and post something (granted I have like 2 things I can wear, it is amazing how many clothes rub in the exact spot of the c section scar making it a bit uncomfortable)

Now on to SSSSHHHHH. I find myself thinking and saying this all the time now. We do try and use, 'The happiest baby on the block' method, but this isn't the only Shooshing we are doing these days. The shooshing method from that book is suppose to bring out the calming reflex in a crying/colicy baby. But back to the other SSSHHHHHing ...I was always one of those people that said I'll keep it loud and go on with my daily business etc. etc. and the kid will grow up to be able to sleep anywhere (like me). While I still believe this philosophy and will enact these method eventually... right now SSSHHHHH is the method we are using. As mentioned earlier in a separate post, Nathaniel doesn't really get enough sleep due to his cranky, fussy, crying periods so anytime he actually sleeps I do my BEST to keep him sleeping. The less sleep he gets the crankier he gets so we just need to get him some shut eye until this phase blows over. On occasion he does enter a deeper sleep so then we go about our normal noises.

The dogs don't bark a lot but they are quickly learning that I mean business if I tell them to stop barking. Granted I have to be in the room right by the dogs for my reprimands to work since I don't just scream things from another room so sometimes the barking ensues. Overall, Nate sleeps through most things including the barking, but I just don't want to take any chances right now since it is so so much nicer to not have to carry him around crying (Nate is the one crying, not me) - I just can't handle that bottom lip pucker face he gets staring up at me :) I do always remind him that if I could figure it out I'd fix it so he needs to start talking earlier than scheduled!! I have even made up several songs I sing to him while he cries about how being happy is awesome and crying is overrated - I'm starting to think my singing makes his crying worse though..... hhhmmm