Mocha WINS!!! - It's a Boy

On my Arizona trip my mom found out Baby Hahm is going to be a BOY!! I can officially announce it now. 

During the ultrasound where we found out the sex it seemed anticlimactic since Kevin and I seemed to be acting like it was a boy already - we always referred to the baby as a him.  Actually, we thought we'd go in and find out it was a girl since we had been saying it was a boy.  Of course we didn't care either way and would have been excited regardless.  As the day went on after finding out it was a boy I did start to panic a little thinking 'uh oh what am I going to do with a boy.... no crafting or shopping for clothes or hairdos or pink .... oh no', but then I started thinking about how cool it will be to golf with him and watch baseball games and I do love Star Wars type stuff .... NOT that for one second a girl can't do or like those things, but you know what I mean.  And the unisex basics like helping with science fair projects and reading with him will be so so fun.  My panic decreased the more I thought about it - don't tell kevin, but I hope he becomes a mama's boy ;-) haha 

It is weird how you start to wonder how you will connect with the opposite sex as a mom.  I am sure guys go through the same feelings when they find out it is a girl.  You realize you really only know how to be a girl (or boy).  I didn't grow up with a brother only a sister so I have very limited experience with what a boy goes through as he grows up.  Growing up it was always easy to talk to and relate to my sister since it was so familiar.  I wonder what my dad thought about as he raised us.  I never really saw my parents in a traditional boy or girl context, but they certainly had their niches.  You wouldn't catch me going to my dad if I had questions regarding bras or boys or crying for help on bad hair days during jr. high.  On the flip side I can't imagine growing up without learning about baseball and watching games and who would have taught me how to drive a stick shift or throw a water balloon.  All I know is that I look forward to this interesting journey with Baby Boy Hahm.

So much has happened over the last week and a half it will take me a few blogs to catch everyone up.  I had such a fun filled trip to Arizona... I saw so many great friends, had a 20 year reunion in Flagstaff and my sister's wedding CRAZY... all while being pregnant in the extreme heat. 

Happy 'almost a father's day

It is the last father's day for awhile that Kevin gets to spend childless doing whatever only he wants to do - sort of, Baby Hahm definitely changes our usual schedule.  I got a little 'daddy' themed onesie as a small gift to honor the occasion.  I was thinking about it and it is the first time my dad gets to think about being a grandpa too on this day - that is cool.  My dad and sis went to the Dbacks game today - wish I was there - one thing that totally reminds me of my dad is baseball.  I can't think of anything more relaxing than watching a game, with a beer in hand with my dad. 

Tomorrow I have another Dr's appt.  I can't believe it has already been a month since my last one.  I have to get a glucose test and I am crossing my fingers that the sugary drink they give you won't make my stomach feel icky before my flight.  I'm headed to Phoenix only a few hours later on a 3.5 hr flight.  I guess I'll have to 'women up' and just make it work.  What happens is I drink this sugary drink, wait an hour, they take some blood and I hope hope hope the results are that I am fine and don't have any indication of gestational diabetes.  Gestational diabetes doesn't always immediately show symptoms so even if I feel fine it could come back that I have to take the more comprehensive glucose screening test.  Let's hope not! 

As I mentioned I am headed to Arizona.  I am VERY excited as I FINALLY get to see some of my family and friends that I miss so much.  And it is a very special visit since my sister is getting married.  I am so happy for her and cannot wait to see her as a gorgeous bride.  On a side note: I will be going to my 20 year reunion - YES I'm that OLD!  Can you believe I'm going pregnant, crazy - most people lose weight and try to look their best, but not me I just decided to get a big ol' baby bump :)  

Needless to say, my blog will be very sporadic over the next week and a half, but there will be so much going on that I can't wait to share it with everyone.  Although a lot of you that read I will get to see anyway YAY!!!

Do I not look pregnant??

Ok, so I'm at the mall today (Using my $10 off $25 coupon at Macy's!!) and I decide to stroll to a few stores while I'm there.  After stopping for some pretzel sticks -YUM- I went to Motherhood Maternity.  

Quick tangent, it does feel a little strange to be in a tiny packed store with at least a dozen other pregnant ladies.  They squish an unbelievable amount of clothes in to that store.  It feels like a clique or cult or inner circle or something because everyone in there is at different stages of pregnancy all just bopping around in a blur.  I wonder how many actually feel good or are hungry or scared of what is coming...

Back to my story.  So I leave the Motherhood maternity store and walk about 15 feet.  This is when a guy from one of those vendor carts asks me, 'Do you smoke?' and I was like, 'No' and then as I walked off I looked down to see if I didn't look pregnant.  I am pretty positive I do and I just came from a maternity store.  I am thinking maybe the guy is just not observant and assumes I just eat too many pretzel sticks.  I start thinking to myself I wonder how many people can't tell I'm pregnant??  I feel like I bump out ALOT and my increasingly slow walk that sort of hinders on a waddle is kind of a giveaway too.  I did start to notice how many people wear baggier cloths or empire wastes and it does become a little hard to know which people are just wearing that style versus which of us have to wear that style.

Another quick tangent, I went in to Forever 21 to look for a stretchy summer dress - I was at least 10 years older than the oldest person in there (excluding the moms that were there to buy their high school or college aged girls some summer duds).  Wow, there wasn't one dress there I could wear I don't think... I guess I really CAN'T be 21 forever, at least not pregnant haha

Body Pillow

I started officially using my body pillow the last 2 nights.  This is that huge long pillow you can buy.  I didn't get a specialized pregnancy one, just the basic one at Target.  It is adding quite a bit of architecture to our normal sleeping routine.  It sort of puts a barrier between my side and Kevin's side.  This barrier in turn confuses the dogs - it is like they have to choose who they want to cuddle with each night.  Mocha has slept basically on the body pillow with me both nights, I guess he is like Switzerland and can't decide where to go or who to be loyal to.  Kona has slept by my legs each night - she is a moma's girl!  Now it is a little unfair since Kevin does tend to bug them until the point they leave his space and come over to mine, but I like to think that they just like me more.  I do think the oversize pillow is helping with the dull thigh pain I get at night.  I think my 'flipping' routine has decreased slightly the last 2 nights, but I need a little more data to draw any conclusion.  Oh and I'll let you know if Mocha ever chooses a side ;) 

Hotty Haircut

Unfortunately, not Hotty as in - woo hoo sexy lady... I mean Hotty as in sweaty lady ....  I am getting my hair cut and highlighted tomorrow in preparation for my trip to Arizona to be in my sister's wedding.  One of the things I dread is sitting for hours in a salon chair.  They always drape you in non breathable fabric and you sit on vinyl seats, it is one big recipe for heat.  I would get hot before so you can imagine how hot I am going to be tomorrow now that my body temperature is 15 degrees warmer with Baby Hahm.  Do you think I can wear one of those 'cool collars' for dogs that you freeze and put around your neck.  Maybe I'll just stick an ice pack in my shorts.  Maybe I'll suck down some slurpe's too - Oh wait there aren't any 7 11's in Nashville so that is out.  Do you think a hand held mister is too obnoxious to bring along? 

I haven't had my hair done since I found out I was pregnant in an effort not to breathe in chemicals (although most are safe nowadays I figured why risk it in the first trimester) It will be nice to look a little more put together finally.  Actually, I got my hair done right before I came to AZ in January... I was pregnant, but didn't know it.  Time flies!  Well, here is to hoping I don't turn into a melty mush ball tomorrow while I try to beautify myself... I seriously might bring an ice pack or two or three!!!

Cute and not so cute

CUTE - We got our first free diaper sample.  It is a tiny little Huggies newborn snuggler diaper.  I pulled it out and thought to myself... oh my ... I'm going to have to use these aren't I?  Every once in awhile it hits me that it won't be all reading and researching, but actually doing! Scary scary.  But, that tiny tiny diaper is really cute.  It is so small. 

NOT so CUTE - The minute Mocha ran in past me tonight from the back yard I could barely breathe.  It rained today (first time in what feels like forever - the temp was lower to boot - I was a happy camper).  Well, the rain sometimes brings all kinds of things to life outside.  I didn't witness what happened, but it is very clear that Mocha rolled in some of 'Nature's Perfume'.  OH MY was he stinky.  We are headed to the backyard to try and figure out what he rolled in.  Kevin had to give him a bath immediately because I couldn't even be in the room with him with my enhanced pregnancy super sniffer.  Even Kevin thought it smelled really bad.  Needless to say, Mocha is much cuter now that he is freshly bathed.   

High, Low, Narrow or Wide

I've tried to look to see if I'm carrying high or low or wide or narrow and I just don't know.  Maybe because I'm pretty short or maybe I have to get farther along, but as of right now I feel like I'm carrying 'regular' haha.  There are articles on how to dress for your pregnancy depending on how your carrying, but until I figure this out I guess these articles don't help me be a fashionista.  Also, there are all kinds of old wives tales about whether you are having a boy or girl depending on how you are carrying.  Now, I already know the sex, but I think it is fun to debunk these theories.  I'm always like 50/50 if you are carrying high that it is a girl and it is 50/50 that it is a boy if you are carrying low.

Sheets and Pacifiers and Bottles oh my

Kevin and I browsed around BabiesRus today.  I started out strong and I ended hungry, dehydrated and ready to leave.  We have sort of focused on the major baby equipment so far (strollers, cribs, car seat, etc.) so today we thought we would glimpse at the other sections as well - you know the smaller items.  I can't believe how many options there are in some of these 'other' sections.  It is a little overwhelming the first time you look. 

First of all, we looked at mattress stuff.  After staring at the mattress pads versus the mattress covers we decided we could not tell any difference.  Did we need both?  2 pads maybe? It seemed ridiculous that you'd need a cover, than a pad, than a sheet, than a sheet saver... holy moly that is like 4 layers.  It is obvious I have never made up an actual crib before. 

After deciding to move on we headed over and saw the pacifier section.  WOW, who knew (unless you have a kid) that there are so many different kinds.  Not only are there all different shapes and sizes, but they have ages associated with them.  Huh?  All binkies aren't the same general thing? - that was eye opening!  I mean how different is your mouth between 3 months and 6 months.  I wonder if when I was a baby if they had this sort of selection, I'll have to ask my mom. 

Then that is when we noticed an entire aisle devoted to bottles.... I didn't even look.  I decided right then and there I needed to read a bit more on those and get some first hand advice.  This is a great chance to get advice and preferences from my friends. I mean there are freezer bags, sanitizers, warmers, bottles that are more like nature, short ones and tall ones and a gazillion choices in between....After today, I've decided I'd rather just pick out cute outfits and toys :) 

On a side note I finally made myself some banana pancakes this weekend - woo hoo!        

Whoops I forgot

I completely forgot to write my blog yesterday ...  I remembered once I went to bed... whoops.  This begs the question about whether pregnancy brain or 'momnesia' is indeed fact or fiction. 

Supposedly, women experience lots of forgetfulness while they are pregnant - the location of car keys, what was on the to do list, why they entered a particular room, to feed the dog (which never happens to me because Kona stares at me at exactly 6 am and 6 pm with intense determination so it is impossible to not remember), but you get the point.  None of these tasks are major life changing things, but can cause one to start thinking they are losing their 'edge'. 

There are a couple schools of thought about this particular subject.  The first is that it is a real thing (supported by TONS of pregnant women) and that something physical is actually occurring that alters your state of mind.  The second is that it isn't anything scientific happening just a myriad of life changes that are clouding your mind and usual focus.  There have been some studies that show that a pregnant women's brain is unaltered and thus no proof of actual changes to explain momnesia.  However, there are lots of secondary changes like up to 40% more progesterone and estrogen running through the body including the brain, which while not proven could have an impact.  The impact may even be to spatial parts of brain function that may explain forgetting where things are located. 

On the flip side, lack of sleep, new priorities and anxiety about the future could be what is causing the forgetfulness.  I think we've all experienced how lack of sleep impacts how fresh and focused you are at work.  When you are well rested (for more than one night) you just seem to make smarter and quicker decisions.  You feel on your game.  Conversely, when you are sleepy or stressed about something you find yourself making a silly statement or two and you can't explain it.  Also, it seems like you end up being off the whole day, it isn't easy to get out of the funk immediately.  

My take is that I do think that everyone, similar to a computer, has only so much memory and capacity to function properly and efficiently.  There is a logical process to our everyday and when we throw to much at ourselves we overheat and lose our most efficient way to process (our focus is split in too many directions).  We cope by finding shortcuts, reaching out for help or just simply running at 80%.  Now whether this overheating can be explained scientifically (TONS of pregnant hormones) or not, it all seems to contribute to momnesia.  I just think it is cool that I have a ready made excuse if I'm absentminded - yay me!  'Don't blame me, blame Baby Hahm' ;) 

Beautiful Ponderosa Pines

Today is sad as I think about the Wallow fire burning out of control in my home state of Arizona.  This is the second largest fire (possibly to become the largest) in AZ history.  As of today it is 0% controlled.  The fire is named after 'Bear Wallow Wilderness' located in eastern AZ in the white mountains.  Entire small towns are being evacuated.  This is a very beautiful area and just imagining what it is going to look like after this is just heartbreaking.  I know lots of people (including myself) who have so many fond memories of this area and have family roots from there.  Also, several of my friends husbands who are firefighters are out there battling this fire - a big THANK YOU to them!!!  I am hoping the weather will cooperate and that soon the fire will be under the firefighters control.  389,000 acres have already been burned :(  One thing I miss in AZ is the Ponderosa Pine forests - they are much different than the forests in the south because there isn't as much brush.  So you walk on a floor of pine needles and can hike freely anywhere you want, it is just great.  Viewing the pictures is too sad to even look at...

Feeling like a pancake

Whatever muscle, tendon, bodily thing that is around my hip area really just doesn't like to be in one position for very long while I'm sleeping.  The dull pain creeps up on me.  I'll sleep on the left side at a 40 degree angle, a 60 degree angle and 90 altering leg off bed or bent or straight, but no matter what I then have to move to the right side and do the same thing.  This dance routine happens a countable # of times a night.  Flip, flip, flip, flip.... With the flip comes the repositioning of the pillow that I sleep on lengthwise.  Sometimes with the flip comes moving a dog around or off the pillow.  Kevin sometimes gets hit in the face with a pillow and sometimes not... it all depends... of course never on purpose ;)

One of the only positions that makes the dull pain go away is sleeping on my back, which of course is not recommended once your in your second trimester and beyond.  I will cheat and lay on my back for a small bit here and there, sshhhh!  Luckily, (knock on wood) I haven't had any back pain or this side pain while sitting, standing or during any waking moment.  But, the flip, flip, flip at night is annoying.  I am suppose to be getting the last bit of sleep I can before the baby, right, or maybe it is nature's way of giving me practice of only sleeping in 1-2 hour time blocks. 

On a side note: Now that I mentioned pancakes I literally feel like eating banana pancakes - I'm thinking that isn't what Kevin is going to want for his Birthday dinner, although a pregnant girl usually gets what she wants ;)

What's in a name?

 "That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet" ...so is Juliet right?

Now that we have found out the sex, the question is asked quite often about whether or not we've decided on a name.  The real truth is that Kevin and I haven't really talked about it much.  We both personally think about it, but no real eliminations or searches have occurred.  Well, some eliminations have occurred in passing conversations - the obvious hit or misses each of us offer up.  One thing is for sure and that is Kevin and I have very different tastes in names so it will be an interesting process as we come to a decision.  I tend to like a little 'different' names, not real different like 'Soul', 'Trophimus' or 'Apple', but not in the top 20 either.  Kevin is more of a top 20 guy.  He figures it is a safer bet for ensuring Baby Hahm is not teased. 

In an effort to make this process a little more formal I have downloaded a baby name app. for my phone :)  I have started selecting a few of my favorites.  My dad offered a bunch of suggestions on the phone the other day, if you know my dad, some were meant to be goofy and some were serious!  The joke will be on him if I choose one of his 'goofy' names HA.

Now here is the other big dilemma as you choose a name...  Should you tell people and get either wanted or unwanted opinions?  Everyone has all kinds of memories of people and places so almost every name you choose someone somewhere will have an association.  This makes it easy to find someone willing to tell you what an awful name you chose.  Not because it is truly an awful name, but because it was the class bully they feared or the girl that stole someone's boyfriend or the smelliest person they used to work with... so do you tell or not?? 

A Very Vocal Kona

My baby girl had to get surgery today.  She had two bumps on her that had mast cells in them.  Without going into a scientific discussion mast cells are not a great thing.  Mako actually had similar bumps that had to get removed so unfortunately I'm all too familiar with these.  On a positive note, Kona has had a lot less of them.  She has had 2 removed once before, but those were a grade 1 so let's hope they stay that grade (grade one is the best grade you can get, it means the bad cells haven't travelled anywhere and are localized)

The funniest part about picking Kona up from the vet is the lecture you get on the drive home.  From the second she gets in the car she is talking, talking, talking.  Not barking, but that true dog talk that sounds like a well put together sentence.  I'm pretty sure I'm getting yelled at about what just happened - especially about having been put in a cage!!  She HATES cages.  She hates cages so much that she whines the entire time she is in them.  It is the same kind of whining that I get on the way home so I'm pretty sure she is lecturing the vet and her staff - so much so the vet took her out of her cage and let her roam around with her and eat lunch with her.  The vet was laughing and said she was much happier once she was out of the cage. 

What adds to her little conversation is that she looks slightly drugged and not herself so it is funny.  She is still waking up from being put under for surgery and has some pain killer to boot.  It is like talking to a drunk friend.  I've been home about an hour now and she still on occasion goes to the garage door and says some stuff and heads back to the couch.  I think she is waiting for 'dad' to get home to yell at him.  I mean he is the one who dropped her off this morning at the vet so she has a bone to pick with him. 

Regardless, I always hate seeing the little surgery cuts on her :(  and I am showering her with all kinds of love.  She just raised her head as I am writing this... I asked her "how you doing" and of course she answered me "uuummm rewh rewh uuummm' and then laid her head back down.  Cute little thing!!

Picking Paint

We started to think about paint colors for Baby Hahm's room.  I'll visualize something in my head and think 'Yep, that is it', but 5 minutes later I'm on to something different.  In part because as I start to look at the different shades of a certain color I decide on something else.  This one is too light, or too bright, or too dark... Should we do two shades and make it fun and add some stripes, etc.  But, something too fun feels like a bad idea for reselling your home.  Not that we plan on selling anytime soon, but you never know. 

Also, as I think of paint colors, I'm also thinking of some sort of theme for inspiration.  The themes I like change daily too so then my paint colors change along with them.  I want something cute, but classy, but whimsical and kid-like too.  I don't want any over the top, in your face themes, but there is a lot of cute stuff out there. 

Every once in awhile Kevin will say 'I like this color', but then I'm not sure if he just picks something to be done with it or really likes it....hhhhmmm.  I do have a pretty good idea of what themes he likes since he is vocal about that.  But, on the other hand, he tends to get one thing in his head and that is it for him... I like a little more squish until we nail it down :) 

The only thing set so far is our crib furniture that we already ordered so at least we have one thing that remains a constant as we consider all of this.  It is fun, and I love thinking about this stuff, but I also want to make sure I love it so it is sooo sooo hard to commit to anything.  I figure we just started so we have awhile, but I'd like to paint when we get back from my sister's wedding so before the end of June I'd like to have some direction, any direction. ;) 

I was reading an article about how decorating nurseries can easily go from tasteful to tasteless quickly.  They showcased one in particular, it was a Mario Bros themed nursery... it was funny and true.  One example clearly looked better than the other. A poorly planned out theme really can look pretty hideous when overdone.  Side note: Looking at this theme made me think of my sis and how often we played this game, especially her! hahaha

Ideas anyone, my email is open for submissions :) ??

Dogs and the Beach

We have been back almost 2 weeks now, but me and the dogs are still missing the beach.  Mocha just stares into our willow tree at all of the loud cicadas and Kona barely lasts 10 minutes outside without panting.  It makes me want to take them back to the beach and have that full and free spirited fun again.

I have attached a video of Mocha getting his toy in the ocean.  He would get so excited he'd whine until you threw the toy in the water again.  He would then run and flop in the wave after it.  He wouldn't ever show any slowing either, we basically had to cut him off every day so that he wouldn't hurt himself.  We'd go to our rental and a few hours later we'd take the dogs to the park and he barely could move he was so tired.... but, that didn't phase him, by the next day he was ready to swim swim swim. 

Kona on the other hand does not like to swim, but she runs up and down the beach after the ball until she drops.  She on occasion steals the toy from Mocha as he would run out of the ocean, but drops it pretty quick. 

The dogs least favorite part was getting washed off in the shower afterwards.  Kevin had to basically pick up Kona and put her by the water faucet, she always had so much sand on her belly that she had to get washed off.  ** One memory I have is this dog running up the stairs from the beach to the sidewalk by us and I am panicking thinking this dog is going to run right into traffic.  I could see the owner on the beach and she didn't seem to be panicking at all.  Then I realized her dog just goes straight to the shower and sits in it.  It was the funniest thing.  When the owner got up there she said 'yah' he never goes anywhere else and just loves the shower **  I guess this dog was a TRUE beach dog through and through.

The enjoyment I get from watching the dogs frolic on the beach is just so great - I enjoy it so much I can barely imagine being on a beach w/o them.  It is nice to just watch another living thing just have pure joy in their faces.  These dogs don't care what happened before or after the beach just that they were at the beach, living up every minute of it - truly living in the moment.  When is the last time you enjoyed something that much??

Nursery Rhyme Amnesia

I was glancing at some baby stuff online and I noticed a few nursery rhyme wall decals.... and I started to think to myself, which ones are these.  Wow, I couldn't sing a whole nursery rhyme to save my life right now.  I couldn't think of any, I mean I could think of a few titles and lines, but not a whole rhyme.  Twinkle twinkle doesn't count by the way.  Old mother hubbard went to a cupboard... what did she do after that.  Some old lady lived in a shoe with too many children, but Why I ask??  Little Bo Peep had some sheep, but what did she do with those sheep? Count them? 

I decided to see if my other half could do any better... so when Kevin was asked if he could rattle off any, this is what I got - a series of more random phrases.. we are doomed.  He was like Hickory dickory dock a mouse ran up a clock and then humpty dumpty fell off a wall..

I have concluded we need a crash course in some kid stuff.  We should at least familiarize ourselves with a few kid things so we have something to sweetly say to Baby Hahm.  Otherwise, Baby Hahm is going to get rap song verses from Kevin and from me it will be made up lyrics as I look around a room.  Such as, the dog is sleeping on the floor - she is grey and pretty - Mocha is here and he is brown - yada yada lamp!