I woke up this morning thinking I will wear a skirt today to church. It is finally spring weather and it felt like it would be fun to wear for a change. I usually just wear dress pants since it is easy and I'm usually running late. Well, because it hasn't really been that warm and I haven't really had a need to wear a skirt in awhile I didn't realize that I wasn't going to be able to find one to wear. I mean I have only gained like ~3 pounds, but my skirt wardrobe seems to think I gained 15. Most of my skirts are quite fitted - I didn't really think about that until today. They zip up the side or back and there isn't a whole lot of extra room like pants. My 'fatty pant' extender buttons don't cut it for skirts. I guess all ~3 pounds are right in front so it makes the fitted waist area quite snug. So it is 9:30 and we are suppose to be on the road ... instead I'm still throwing around skirts getting increasingly more frustrated. In my head I'm thinking even if I find a skirt what are the odds there is a shirt or shoes to match.
This is where the pregnancy hormones kicked in I guess. I haven't really had many ups and downs hormone wise (no more than my normal anyway) I think most people would say I'm pretty easy going in general. In this moment I just got emotional within a few seconds instead of my normal just whatever attitude. It isn't about feeling or looking fat obviously (although it is an awkward stage where people don't know your pregnant but it looks like you ate 20 donuts for breakfast) I just felt uncomfortable and like I had ZERO options. Normally, when I have wardrobe issues it is about not finding the right shirt or color etc... today I had no alternatives - at least in my hormonal head.
** I'm secretly thinking too that if Kevin even thinks about coming in here to tell me I'm running late that I'll probably throw a shoe at his head. Luckily, he must have had some instinct in him to know not to bother me :) **
I finally found something and I think my words to Kevin as we left hurriedly out the door were that this is barely acceptable and that I look horrible, but let's go. At this point it wasn't just the outfit, but I had spiraled to hating my hair, my make-up, purse, what I ate for breakfast, the color of the sky and any other nonsense I could think of...In the car I was on the verge of tears for no real reason that is why I'm POSITIVE it was pregnancy hormones, this is just very uncharacteristic of me (unless I'm watching a sad animal story cuz then I cry every time). I didn't even know why I was really upset all I know is I just was. After a few deep breaths and views of baby cows on the ride I was back to normal. It was all very weird and silly. And to top it off my outfit was cute once I thought about it later. Now I understand finally what other women are talking about when they say they had hormonal episodes and it is hard to really think rationally in that moment. Luckily, the moment is fleeting and easily forgettable :)
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