Missing Mako

April 12th was Mako's birthday.  I always think of him on this day and even more so this year.  Mako was my first real adult responsibility - It was the first time that anything really depended on me for things.  He was there when I got my first real job after college, he was with me during grad school, when I got married and got my first home.  I have so many fond memories that include him that I can't imagine much without him during my twenties and early thirties.  He was and still is a huge part of my family history.  Yes, dogs are family to me and that won't change even with baby Hahm.  I foresee baby Hahm being a HUGE dog lover too!

One reason Mako has been on my mind quite a bit lately all started with a conversation I had with a friend.  The conversation started by wondering how anyone could abandon their older dog at a shelter.  I (actually we) could not ever imagine just dropping off our older dog because he/she has become harder to take care of, it is unimaginable to us both.  Now, I'm not talking about big life changes that force these kind of decisions (even then I hope people try their hardest to rehome before dropping their buddy off at a shelter).  This topic then transitioned to talking about how hard it is to make that decision to put your dog to rest.  I got immediately verkclempt as I recalled that horrible day with Mako.  I remember trying not to be emotional with him and not cry so that he wouldn't be scared.  Although dogs are quite astute at reading your emotions so I'm sure he knew how torn up I was inside even if I wasn't outwardly showing it.  As I cuddled with him and helped him enter into the next phase of his life I turned in to a bawling sad mess as soon as it was over.  I literally felt like a part of my heart died that day.  I remember I made Kevin just drive somewhere, anywhere because I just couldn't go home.  We crawled up and down a Florida highway as I just stared out the window.  The song that reminds me of Mako and of that day is 'Chasing cars' by Snow Patrol. It was real popular that year and the radio station was playing it quite often.  Now back to present day and my conversation with my friend...  that same night of our conversation that song was the first song of the musical episode of 'Greys anatomy'.  This propelled Mako to the forefront of my thoughts for sure. 

As I sat there watching 'Greys anatomy' all I could think about is how bummed I was that Mako wouldn't be here with baby Hahm.  He was such a great dog...and would have made a wonderful family dog.  He was gentle and kind and only had good in his heart, zero aggression towards anything.  I remember once at our home in Tempe our nephew was visiting us.  Our nephew was young and would on occasion just throw things at Mako's head and Mako basically just sat there and wagged his tail.  This was a dog that didn't have much exposure to kids and yet was happy as heck to be a good sport.  It is sad to me that he won't get to share that disposition with a kid, he would have been awesome. 

"Dogs' lives are too short.  Their only fault, really"

I miss you little buddy and think of you often.....

Mako and a newly adopted Kona